Things have been busier than usual at the Flamingo Residence. I guess it usually is in the summer... as a former teacher I've been using my summers to do things I've wanted to do. I went volunteered at camps, taught VBS, worked occasionally at an old job, wrote a manuscript (that I keep saying I'm going to get back to someday) and spent lots of time in bookstores and drinking coffee.
This summer is obviously different. Baby Flamingo doesn't have the interest in the books yet, she does however enjoy the overhead lights at our local shop, so she can get a little fussy with me if we spend too much time looking for new things to read. Thank God I'm already very proficient at Amazon.com and how to request books at the library. But, we have been going to playgroups, end of the school year parties, end of the year plays, doctors appointments, hair appointments (for me, she doesn't have that much hair yet) and of course walks through our local park.
The most exciting thing to happen so far this summer is BF's new trick- she smiles. Now, I do typically have to coax it out of her with a strange high pitched voice, but when I do get them it is the most magical feeling ever.
So, lately Baby Flamingo has been doing this amazing thing... sleeping until almost 5 a.m. AND then going back to sleep until about 8:30. Granted this puts her morning nap about 11 and her afternoon nap about 5 or so. I'm loving the sleep I'm getting and still trying to nap during at least during one of her naps.
I'm so in love with Baby Flamingo and this "new" family of ours. I feel like it's complete all of a sudden. I love the way that Mr.Flamingo goes to her in the afternoon and can't wait to see if she'll follow him around the room with her eyes (her newest trick). I love the way that I get to spend my days watching her grow and I find something new about her each day to love. She's working on smiling these days and it just makes my heart glow when she'll gift me with one of those sweet gummy smiles.
With all of this love, something magical happened today... I had my first full cup of yummy caffeinated coffee this morning. I ground the beans and put my two spoon fulls of regular sugar, my skim milk and the day got just that much better.
After weeks of struggling with breastfeeding I'm trying to cut myself some slack about it.
My supply has never been great. I've tried pumping ever three hours, fenugreek, mothers milk tea, nursing more often and seen countless lactation consultants. I've spoken on the phone with doctors, midwives and more lactation consultants... the only other option, a drug called regalin causes me to have seizures, is out.
For about three weeks now I've been pumping every three hours religiously. I've been trying to get her at least 5 ounces a day which usually requires about 5 hours of pumping each day. When I described this to the midwife that I was talking to this morning she said what I was doing was "heroic", but at the heart of it all she said, "Mama Flamingo, you've done about all you can. Just keep nursing when you can but chill out on the pumping, you're not living life."
I'm trying to cut myself some slack, but try telling that to my heart that just has a hard time doing that.
So, I'm watching this documentary on getting your kids into a nursery school in NYC. Now, thankfully we don't live anywhere near NYC and since I can't get Mr.Flamingo to even entertain the idea of visiting NYC I don't think we'll be moving there anytime soon. But, OMG this process seems so intense! I do want to send BF to a preschool when she's about 1 or so, but just half days on MWF... It's more for her to get some socialization (lest she think she is a cat) and that type of thing. Thankfully in our Largeish-Metropolitan-City we should be able to find this and it shouldn't cost more than my private school college education.
What surprised me though, was at the end they showed the kids going to their first day of school and I started tearing up and I found myself to no one in particular (since BF is napping in her bouncy seat and doesn't really care what I say) that "BF will be fine, it's me that'll have the problem." That's right people... I'm going NUTS! Nana Flamingo (my Mom) said that it's because I'm not around any grown ups these days, which is true... I'm afraid that I'm going to start talking to the cats soon.
I don't know if I've been missed or not... I check here daily, but never seem to have the time or energy or creativity to post. I thought I'd post some more pictures of Baby Flamingo because that's about as creative as I get these days. She'll be 8 weeks old tomorrow, which boggles my mind... how can she already be 8 weeks old? Wasn't I just finding out we were pregnant last week?
My new job is definitely more demanding than anything I've ever done and the monetary benefits are nothing like what I was making as a teacher, but it is by far my favorite profession of all time. Baby Flamingo isn't a great communicator, she's easily frustrated and often more demanding than any middle schooler I ever worked with. She knows what she wants and she wants it right then. She doesn't have a lot of patience for me as I try to decipher what it is she wants or why I get something ready for her. Her thinking is I should have had it prepared before she asked for it. She is definitely vocal in her demands, just not in a language I easily understand. I tell her I'm still working on my telepathy skills. She likes to hold meetings during the middle of the night and wants me to be focused and attentive (and to bring snacks) during these 2 AM meeting of the minds.
But overall, being a Mom is great. I love the little sigh I get from her when she's been crying and I pick her up. It's this sweet little puff of air as I pick her up that says, "oh, there you are." Her little head fits on my chest and she squirrels her little 7 lbs. body so that she fits exactly where her head in under my chin and she'll be content to snuggle there until something else strikes her fancy. She is learning how to focus her eyes and it's enlightening to watch someone discover things we take for granted every day and never notice. Shadows can entertain her for almost half an hour (long enough for me to maybe grab some lunch) and the sunshine coming through her window is fascinating.